The subject of Time

Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Current mood: contemplative
Time is such an anomoly. Can I use that word, anomoly? Did I even use it right? Whatever. In light of recent events, I'm going to "blog" about this subject for all the world to see. Why? Only time will tell. (Ohmigosh, that was Stewie Griffin coming out of my tv and taking control of my hands to say that stupid, corny line, I swear!) My ex boyfriend showed up in my church services last Sunday, and as my friend pointed him out to me, a line from "Casablanca" ran through my head, slightly modified: "Of all the wards, in all the stakes of this city, he had to attend mine..." Tres tragic. Now, I do not hate this boy, but I don't necessarily trust or respect him very much anymore and he has made it extremely difficult for me to trust other guys as well, so you can understand why I'm not hell bent on getting back to being "friends". Also, I broke up with this boy, and was very determined not to let him change my mind, so he had some serious negative vibes heading my way for quite some time, making the fact that we worked for the same company very...awkward. So naturally, when church services ended on Sunday, I left right after the meetings and didn't think it necessary to chat it up with him. I didn't care to catch up, and I didn't think he did either. Come to find out, the old verbage is true: Time heals all wounds. For this boy is over it, so to speak and would like to be, well, at least civil again. I think this is a good thing, but I'm amazed at how true that old saying is. The further along the line of time we get from something, that something changes. Or we change. Perhaps it's that we forget, or we put things in perspective, or perhaps we grow and mature as time goes and therefore handle the same things differently. Who knows, but time changed things. So the next example is one not completed but something I've been mulling over in my mind. I am moving back to my home soon, and someone very dear to me is going to be far away and it will be quite some time before I may get to see this person again. Circumstances are such that it may be longer that we thought originally--like 5 months longer. And I'm wondering what time will do to us. That old saying: Absence makes the heart grow fonder makes me wonder at what point does the absence cease to make your heart fonder, and make your heart forget? What's too long of an absence for my weak long distance relationship skills to be tried and busted? And what about the saying famous among LDS people: if it's right, it'll be right when he/she gets back (after 2 years or 6 months or one vacation to NYC). So if the fates have decreed your relationship thus, then time should make no difference, right? Fine, but how do you know? That's a rhetorical question, I can't answer it myself, I really blow at finding answers, but I do know this: I guess we're all here in life, just the same and the one common factor that we as human beings have is that we all must go through time. All of our minutes and years will tick away the same--whether we're with the people we want to be with or not--so come what may, we must live each time while we're there, right? Fine.