Chain letters

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

I have just figured out why my life is the way it is. Other than the whole agency thing and that *really* I am the one to "blame" for my situation--other than that, I've figured it out:

My #1 problem: I've never answered a single chain letter/email/bulletin in my life! I always just blow them off because I think that they are stupid. (No offense to anyone who thinks they aren't, or are just covering their butts by sending them to me, but I've personally never believed in them.) But now...?Now, I'm thinking I should have answered all those years of letters--especially the ones about love. Ya'know, the ones that say: "Send this mail to 1,000 people in the next 30 seconds or you'll never find true love!!!!" Dang...I should've put forth a little effort there people! That's alot of bad love karma I've built up here.*Sigh* Oh well. I guess Mr. Right will have to defy superstition or we'll never find each other. (Oh great, like that process isn't already hard!)

Forget love! I'm bound to die soon anyway thanks to the fact that I haven't forwarded any of the scary chain messages. I'm not kidding you. Any night now, all of the scary demons/dead people I've successfully pissed off by not keeping their letters going are going to converge on my room--en masse-- and demand their pound of flesh. (I might let them take about 10--but then, well, then I'd just be too thin. Just kidding. But seriously, 15 and I'm putting my foot down!)

Maybe to counter all this bad karma, I'll write my own chain mail. Let's see.... Maybe I'll make impossible demands and really throw people for a loop. Ya'know, "send this to 80,000 people who haven't received this yet in the next 3 minutes or you will lose your soul mate, your car will get scratched in the parking lot and your dog will die! And then, Nicole Richie will die of starvation and she will show up in your room--food falling from her mouth and she will scare you!!!!" Hahahahaaaa! That's awesome, I should do it!No, wait, I'm looking for good karma. *Sigh* Too hard. Too bad.

That's all, I ran out of steam, and once again, I don't care. So, keep sending me your chain letters. I'll just read them, have a moment of angst, then delete them. If it clears your conscience to send them, please do. But if those dead people show up--I'm giving up names, okay?